Sooooo....this day is turning out better than I first thought. :)
I got my check last night from my tax return. And of course the first thing I wanted to do was spend itttttt!!!!! BUT I dont have a car as of right this moment and I was turned down in my financing sooo the money isnt exactly free money. So as soon as I got it I started calling around to a couple places that do clutch work and my brother told me about this one place that did the type of work and I called them, and they gave me a very reasonable price. MUCH MUCH lower than my original quote from another company. I was thinking I was looking at about $1k. Nope. Only about $500. Give or take depending on whats wrong with it. I was also thinking that I was going to have to have my car towed...my insurance is going to do that. YAY!!! Another less expense! Im really excited about this. Of course I have a feeling that its not going to be fixed before I go away this weekend. But, I will just have to have someone pick it up and drop it off at my house. :)
Im really happy. Now, I just have to find a job thats closer to my babys house so I dont put a shit load MORE miles on my car and Ill be good to go.
YAY! Im really excited! Not really to have my car back but to have a car again. It TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY SUCKS!!! when you dont have a car and have to rely on everyone around you. Ugh! Anyhow.
Thats my good news for the day. Hopefully nothing will happen today that will change my mood.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Why cant I just FUNCTION?!?!
I started getting sick late last week and now im in full sick mode. YAY! ....not. I havent slept in days, I cant stop coughing, my sides hurt so bad from basically dry heaving my coughs up and I havent slept in a bed since Friday night. I literally just want to cry right now. Im so exhausted but Im still at work. I am at work because I am taking off a couple hours early on Friday and I dont want my work to think that I constantly take time off. I have taken a little bit off this year and its still early. I dont want to use all my time when there might be something that I could really use it for too. But, I am so not going to be a good receptionist or front desk talker to or any of that today. Im just way past sleep deprived.
And then this morning, this guy from a pest control company knocks on my window because the door is locked before a certain time. So I open it and he explains that he is here to treat the area around the building. Whatever. And then he asks to use the restroom. I tell him where it is and he goes. And he is gone for 15 mins and then comes back and says, "Thank you. You just dont know how much I appreciate you letting me use your bathroom." Um, well I do know since you told me. And judging by the length of time in there, you must have had some serious bubbles. hahah. Thats all I could think about. Oh my.
...I just want to go home. Can I go home? I would walk home right now. It would probably take me a good while but I would totally just walk home right now. And then when I got home I could just pass out and no even know im coughing. No, I think Ill just cry.
And then this morning, this guy from a pest control company knocks on my window because the door is locked before a certain time. So I open it and he explains that he is here to treat the area around the building. Whatever. And then he asks to use the restroom. I tell him where it is and he goes. And he is gone for 15 mins and then comes back and says, "Thank you. You just dont know how much I appreciate you letting me use your bathroom." Um, well I do know since you told me. And judging by the length of time in there, you must have had some serious bubbles. hahah. Thats all I could think about. Oh my.
...I just want to go home. Can I go home? I would walk home right now. It would probably take me a good while but I would totally just walk home right now. And then when I got home I could just pass out and no even know im coughing. No, I think Ill just cry.
Friday, February 22, 2008
I make myself sick...
I have a guilty conscience right now and its eating away at me. I dont know what to do. Im so confused.
There are some things that I hate about myself.
:(
There are some things that I hate about myself.
:(
Monday, February 18, 2008
Cant I just have some good news for once?
Im waiting to hear back from a car dealership to see if I got the car loan I applied for on Saturday. I dont even care really about the car that Im getting, its more of the idea that I will HAVE a car. Stop relying on my mother or brother AND girlfriend.
I hate not having money. I hate being poor. I hate not having things that I feel that I deserve. But, how do you change the only way you have ever done things. I feel that Im conditioned to never have money, to always complain I have no money, to always over spend on things I dont need and not pay my bills. Its really hard to change the things that you have done repeatedly over and over again. But, Ive realized that I cant live my life that way. I cant always not have money or keep complaining about not having money. I need to do something about it.
But what?
I dont even think that if I didnt smoke at all, and I didnt drink and I didnt go out many places...that I still wouldnt have money. The majority of my money does go to bills. But, of course, I do enjoy a good drink and some eats now and then. Does really buying yourself a pair of jeans and a shirt really put me in debt?
Ugh. Its all so confusing and im so far in the hole that I dont know how to get out of it. I am following in my mothers foot steps. Down a road of bankruptcy, and hardship for the rest of my life.
I want to break the cycle, I just have to find a way to do it.
I hate not having money. I hate being poor. I hate not having things that I feel that I deserve. But, how do you change the only way you have ever done things. I feel that Im conditioned to never have money, to always complain I have no money, to always over spend on things I dont need and not pay my bills. Its really hard to change the things that you have done repeatedly over and over again. But, Ive realized that I cant live my life that way. I cant always not have money or keep complaining about not having money. I need to do something about it.
But what?
I dont even think that if I didnt smoke at all, and I didnt drink and I didnt go out many places...that I still wouldnt have money. The majority of my money does go to bills. But, of course, I do enjoy a good drink and some eats now and then. Does really buying yourself a pair of jeans and a shirt really put me in debt?
Ugh. Its all so confusing and im so far in the hole that I dont know how to get out of it. I am following in my mothers foot steps. Down a road of bankruptcy, and hardship for the rest of my life.
I want to break the cycle, I just have to find a way to do it.
Its been a little while...
So ive decided to take a couple minutes out of my not so busy schedule to finally write something.
Whats been going on with me? ...Not to much. Just chillin.
I had a good time over my friend Dani's on Friday. I did something that I regret that night, of course. When do I ever NOT regret something when I start drinking. Its become my downfall. I should probabaly stop drinking for a while, but I dont know if I could actually do it. Ive said it before, I very much enjoy drinking and getting drunk. I feel as if sometimes, it brings the person that I want to be out. Surprising enough, I can be shy. I can be reserved. Most of my friends just have the unfortunite side of it...Im already used to being around them. haha. But, when im in a social setting that is unfamiliar I can get a little departed from my everyday self. Eh, whatever...so back to what I was saying...I did something I regret on Friday. Plain and simple. Honestly tho, I dont think im going to be doing ever again. I really dont. I embaressed myself that night even tho I had fun. I dont know.
Im getting ready for my birthday at the end of the week. YAY! Saturday is my birthday. Friday night im going out with my girls some place. Even if its a chill night at Mikes, Im totally ok with that, as long as I have some good alcohol and I dont have to drive. haha. Ill be good to go. :) Erin I think thinks that we are going out, and maybe me and her will go out before hand and have a couple drinks some place. Do a couple Jager bomb shots or something. Im always down for a Jager bomb. LOVE THEM! And then Saturday is my actual birthday. My woman is off work that day so im going to try my best to get with her that day and spend some time with her since she has to work on Sunday instead. She suggested that we take my mom and Shaun out to dinner and that way we kill two birds with one stone. Dinner with my family and its on my birthday. There we go.
Im excited about the week after my birthday. My woman is taking me on a surprise birthday adventure. Although, I know where we are going only because I hate surprises and ive done my research on her computer. haha. She should really learn to delete her history of what sites she goes to. Anyhow. She is taking me to the beach. Im not sure what we are doing there, if anything...but its all to me. Being in the hotel room all weekend sounds like a plan to me. ;) Im just hoping my PD comes soon so that we can actually make that happen. Of course sight seeing with my baby is always nice too. At least I will be with her.
Im super sick of work. I was SLAMMED the first week my co worker left, and now im slow as shit. I just need work to do. I hate being bored. I hate that I have time to write all this even tho im glad I can. I just wish I had other things to do. Oh well.
Well, im going to sign off here and see what I cant get into. I might have to ask around if I can help someone out. OR just do the DREADEDDDDDD filing. I hate it.
Whats been going on with me? ...Not to much. Just chillin.
I had a good time over my friend Dani's on Friday. I did something that I regret that night, of course. When do I ever NOT regret something when I start drinking. Its become my downfall. I should probabaly stop drinking for a while, but I dont know if I could actually do it. Ive said it before, I very much enjoy drinking and getting drunk. I feel as if sometimes, it brings the person that I want to be out. Surprising enough, I can be shy. I can be reserved. Most of my friends just have the unfortunite side of it...Im already used to being around them. haha. But, when im in a social setting that is unfamiliar I can get a little departed from my everyday self. Eh, whatever...so back to what I was saying...I did something I regret on Friday. Plain and simple. Honestly tho, I dont think im going to be doing ever again. I really dont. I embaressed myself that night even tho I had fun. I dont know.
Im getting ready for my birthday at the end of the week. YAY! Saturday is my birthday. Friday night im going out with my girls some place. Even if its a chill night at Mikes, Im totally ok with that, as long as I have some good alcohol and I dont have to drive. haha. Ill be good to go. :) Erin I think thinks that we are going out, and maybe me and her will go out before hand and have a couple drinks some place. Do a couple Jager bomb shots or something. Im always down for a Jager bomb. LOVE THEM! And then Saturday is my actual birthday. My woman is off work that day so im going to try my best to get with her that day and spend some time with her since she has to work on Sunday instead. She suggested that we take my mom and Shaun out to dinner and that way we kill two birds with one stone. Dinner with my family and its on my birthday. There we go.
Im excited about the week after my birthday. My woman is taking me on a surprise birthday adventure. Although, I know where we are going only because I hate surprises and ive done my research on her computer. haha. She should really learn to delete her history of what sites she goes to. Anyhow. She is taking me to the beach. Im not sure what we are doing there, if anything...but its all to me. Being in the hotel room all weekend sounds like a plan to me. ;) Im just hoping my PD comes soon so that we can actually make that happen. Of course sight seeing with my baby is always nice too. At least I will be with her.
Im super sick of work. I was SLAMMED the first week my co worker left, and now im slow as shit. I just need work to do. I hate being bored. I hate that I have time to write all this even tho im glad I can. I just wish I had other things to do. Oh well.
Well, im going to sign off here and see what I cant get into. I might have to ask around if I can help someone out. OR just do the DREADEDDDDDD filing. I hate it.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Sweet Thursdays...
Ah, the smell of thursdays. They dont really smell any different than any other day except Mondays. Mondays always stink. Hm. Anyhow...
...Ive got the rest of today and tomorrow and then its the weekend!!!!!! OH Yes! Its fantastic. This has got to be the LONGEST week of my life. Its taken forever to just get to thursday. I cant imagine what its going to feel like tomorrow...ugh. BUT its always better when your in jeans and a sweat shirt. mmmhmmm. And then its off to be with my girls im sure. I feel like I havent seen Kelly in forever. I was supposed to see her last Friday but she ended up having her accident. No fun. BUT anyhow...like I said im probably going to see my girls and have a couple beers. I NEED A BEER!!! I was driving home last night and realized that I needed to have a bottle of wine. haha. Whenever I think about wine I just think about drinking a whole bottle. To hell with a glass of wine, where is that going to get you? Thats right people...no where.
So im coming home and im thinking, should I drink a bottle of wine? Well, I want to see Aiden tonight, and I dont think Kristy would appreciate me coming over to see her and her son if Im drunk. And plus, I was driving so I decided not to. But, I really wanted to. Now I just have beer on my brain. I just want to have a couple...couple as in a really nice buzz amount of beer. haha. 12 to 18 beers. And ill be good. Probably have a little bit of a headache the next day but who cares? Because right when im drinking Ill be enjoying it so much that I wont even think about the next morning.
Darn it. Its only Thursday. I would be no more good if I came to work hung over. Ive done it several times before and I just cant do it tomorrow. Not with all the training iver got to get done tomorrow. UGH!
And thats another thing...I didnt train at all yesterday because our server isnt 100% back on track yet. SOOO...we cant train on the things that are going to be most important for me and my other co worker to do. YAY for us! Considering this is ENTIRELY new to both of us.
...this is going to be interesting.
Anywho! Kristy gave me a card that is soooooo funny! I love it. Its got chicken wings on the front that says, "They gave their lives so that we might celebrate." And on the inside it says, "So lets dance to their memory." hahahaha. And it plays the chicken dance song. She bought it for me because of my chicken wing blog and me and her and big chicken wing fans. haha.
Well, im closing this one out...ive got to make it look like im doing something at work.
:)
...Ive got the rest of today and tomorrow and then its the weekend!!!!!! OH Yes! Its fantastic. This has got to be the LONGEST week of my life. Its taken forever to just get to thursday. I cant imagine what its going to feel like tomorrow...ugh. BUT its always better when your in jeans and a sweat shirt. mmmhmmm. And then its off to be with my girls im sure. I feel like I havent seen Kelly in forever. I was supposed to see her last Friday but she ended up having her accident. No fun. BUT anyhow...like I said im probably going to see my girls and have a couple beers. I NEED A BEER!!! I was driving home last night and realized that I needed to have a bottle of wine. haha. Whenever I think about wine I just think about drinking a whole bottle. To hell with a glass of wine, where is that going to get you? Thats right people...no where.
So im coming home and im thinking, should I drink a bottle of wine? Well, I want to see Aiden tonight, and I dont think Kristy would appreciate me coming over to see her and her son if Im drunk. And plus, I was driving so I decided not to. But, I really wanted to. Now I just have beer on my brain. I just want to have a couple...couple as in a really nice buzz amount of beer. haha. 12 to 18 beers. And ill be good. Probably have a little bit of a headache the next day but who cares? Because right when im drinking Ill be enjoying it so much that I wont even think about the next morning.
Darn it. Its only Thursday. I would be no more good if I came to work hung over. Ive done it several times before and I just cant do it tomorrow. Not with all the training iver got to get done tomorrow. UGH!
And thats another thing...I didnt train at all yesterday because our server isnt 100% back on track yet. SOOO...we cant train on the things that are going to be most important for me and my other co worker to do. YAY for us! Considering this is ENTIRELY new to both of us.
...this is going to be interesting.
Anywho! Kristy gave me a card that is soooooo funny! I love it. Its got chicken wings on the front that says, "They gave their lives so that we might celebrate." And on the inside it says, "So lets dance to their memory." hahahaha. And it plays the chicken dance song. She bought it for me because of my chicken wing blog and me and her and big chicken wing fans. haha.
Well, im closing this one out...ive got to make it look like im doing something at work.
:)
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
So yesterday my server at work crashed so I wasnt able to write my 411 of the day. Blah...so here goes.
Went to the doctor on Monday and I didnt have any questions answered. I paid 40 bucks to have the doctor come in, touch my foot, tell me that she doesnt know what it is, and to get an xray. Um, what? SOOO I for the past couple days I was a little nervous going in to see her just because I didnt want anything to be wrong BUT I wasnt ruling out that there wasnt. Anyhow. Ive got to get an xray and a MRI on my foot to see whats going on in there. I did a little research on Monday and I think I have a stress fracture. I dont remember falling or tripping or anything, but thats not to say that I did. Hopefully, Ill find out in a couple weeks what the deal is.
Lets see what else...OH. Since last week, ive been in training to take over someones responsiblities since she is leaving and well...they arent paying me enough for this shit. Its just really annoying actually. But once I get into the position and I see whats going on, if I feel that Im not being compensated for my work...I will surely be saying something to someone. Its not fair.
Well, its February 6th and that means 17 more days until my birthday. YAY for me! Im going to see about getting some friends together to go to dinner or grab some drinks some place. And then that way I can also MAYBE introduce my love to everyone. We will see. :)
AND last but not least...my love bought me a ring last night. She was super cute about it too. Its beautiful and I love it. She told me that its her promise to me that I will get the solitaire that I want...at a later date. haha. YAY for me! So this just confirms that Ive got the best person for me. We completely compliment each other in so many ways. She is def the one for me. I couldnt be happier even if I tried.
Went to the doctor on Monday and I didnt have any questions answered. I paid 40 bucks to have the doctor come in, touch my foot, tell me that she doesnt know what it is, and to get an xray. Um, what? SOOO I for the past couple days I was a little nervous going in to see her just because I didnt want anything to be wrong BUT I wasnt ruling out that there wasnt. Anyhow. Ive got to get an xray and a MRI on my foot to see whats going on in there. I did a little research on Monday and I think I have a stress fracture. I dont remember falling or tripping or anything, but thats not to say that I did. Hopefully, Ill find out in a couple weeks what the deal is.
Lets see what else...OH. Since last week, ive been in training to take over someones responsiblities since she is leaving and well...they arent paying me enough for this shit. Its just really annoying actually. But once I get into the position and I see whats going on, if I feel that Im not being compensated for my work...I will surely be saying something to someone. Its not fair.
Well, its February 6th and that means 17 more days until my birthday. YAY for me! Im going to see about getting some friends together to go to dinner or grab some drinks some place. And then that way I can also MAYBE introduce my love to everyone. We will see. :)
AND last but not least...my love bought me a ring last night. She was super cute about it too. Its beautiful and I love it. She told me that its her promise to me that I will get the solitaire that I want...at a later date. haha. YAY for me! So this just confirms that Ive got the best person for me. We completely compliment each other in so many ways. She is def the one for me. I couldnt be happier even if I tried.
Friday, February 1, 2008
ASSHOLES!!!
Sooo...I come into work today and I get a text message from a friend of mine saying...just wanted to give you a heads up, I wont be coming out tonight because I just got out of the hospital because my boyfriend broke my arm last night.
UM, WHAT?!?!?
As soon as I heard that, I instantly got pissed. I wanted to leave work, drive to his house, and whoop his little bastard ass. Hell no is someone going to beat on someone. FUCK THAT! So I asked her if it was done on purpose or not. She said no, but she didnt say accident either. When I hear that, I hear he was drunk and angry and probably shoved her somewhere.
I dont get it!!!! I really dont understand why someone who is bigger and stronger is going to beat on someone that cant even defend themselves. If someone wants to fight someone, make it someone who can whoop your ass too to make it a good fight. Fuck this picking on someone BS. UGH!!!! Im so PISSED right now! I wish she had called me last night to tell me this, I would have been over at the hospital in a heart beat.
And I feel as if my friend is making excuses for him. There are NOOOO excuses for anything when you break someones arm. Again, accident or not. You broke it. End of story. I just cant stand fuckers like him.
I really need to know exactly what happened between them soon because other wise this is going to ruin my whole day. And I dont want that.
UGH!!!!!!!!
UM, WHAT?!?!?
As soon as I heard that, I instantly got pissed. I wanted to leave work, drive to his house, and whoop his little bastard ass. Hell no is someone going to beat on someone. FUCK THAT! So I asked her if it was done on purpose or not. She said no, but she didnt say accident either. When I hear that, I hear he was drunk and angry and probably shoved her somewhere.
I dont get it!!!! I really dont understand why someone who is bigger and stronger is going to beat on someone that cant even defend themselves. If someone wants to fight someone, make it someone who can whoop your ass too to make it a good fight. Fuck this picking on someone BS. UGH!!!! Im so PISSED right now! I wish she had called me last night to tell me this, I would have been over at the hospital in a heart beat.
And I feel as if my friend is making excuses for him. There are NOOOO excuses for anything when you break someones arm. Again, accident or not. You broke it. End of story. I just cant stand fuckers like him.
I really need to know exactly what happened between them soon because other wise this is going to ruin my whole day. And I dont want that.
UGH!!!!!!!!
Last night...
Well, I didnt get so lucky. She said she didnt have the energy and she didnt want to go into relapse. haha. It was funny.
BUTTTT...
...I have decided to move my move in date up a month. So instead of end of April its going to be the end of March. YAY!
BUTTTT...
...I have decided to move my move in date up a month. So instead of end of April its going to be the end of March. YAY!
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