Cramps...

I hate cramps. I had REALLY bad cramps yesterday and I had to leave early. Which was a plus because it wasnt really cold outside. I laid down once I got home and then went outside and sat out on the porch with Jess. Talking about anything and everything. Its been really nice getting to know her. Shes an awesome chick who is really easy to get along with. Its been nice coming home and sitting out on the porch with her for some small talk. :) Anyhow. Thank goodness I dont have cramps today. I think I would have to impail myself on something. But, im good. :) YAY!

Im trying to convince the woman at home to get a sleep number bed with me. One, ive heard those things are AWESOME! And two, we have very different bed types. She is a more soft bed type. And I am a more firm bed type. I think ever since ive been staying over, even before I moved in, my arms have been going to sleep EVERY night. I dont think thats a good thing. I like to sleep a certain way and I havent been able to do that since I moved in because of the mattress. I like to sleep on my stomach with my face buried in the pillow. haha. But, with her mattress, my back curves and I wake up in the middle of the night with back pain and stiffness. And shes always like right up my ass when I try and roll over. So im trying to roll myself over and her. haha. Its funny. But, not really for my back. And now my hips are starting to hurt because I dont think my hips are lined up right when im sleeping. I toss and turn constantly. When we went to Ocean City the mattress in the hotel was PERFECT! It was just enough firmness with the right amount of cushion. Im trying to get used to the bed. Im trying to find out which way is a good way to lay. I find that I get the best sleep when shes not in the bed because then I can spread out! And when I spread out, I mean I spread out. Im all up in the middle of the bed, with my arms straight out and my one leg out. Its crazy looking. But, Im mad comfy. thats all that matters.

Ah, babies. I cant wait to have them. I want to have a baby right now. Just have one magically grow inside of me and Ill give birth right now....or right now...ok, how about righhhhhttt now. Ok. Its not working. But, I REALLY want to have a baby! I think its my horomones talking right now. I have moments where I like my prehistorical motherly moments come out when Im around kids and Im like I could totally do this mother thing. I mean, I cant wait until I have the oppurtunity to have children. Ive ALWAYS wanted them but I cant decide if im ready like right NOW to have babies or if I should wait a couple years. Either way children are going to change my life and I will have to sacrifice a lot for them. And Im TOTALLY willing to do that. I do that a lot with my brothers now. And I think ill be a good mother. Actually I think I would make a great mother. I want to be a mother who is the best friend, but the kids know that im not going to take any shit. haha. There will be things that I will take from my mother and pass on and there will be things that I will change that my mother did but I wish she hadnt. (We all have those things.) I think I would make a great mom. And since I will be raising these kids with two mommies. I want to be MOMMY and my partner can be MOM or MAMA. Whatever they want. But, I want to be called MOMMY forever. Even when the kids are like 50 years old. :) That makes me happy just thinking about that. I was listening to the radio yesterday on my way home and there was this song on, country song of course, and it was talking about this woman who says sorry for her kids acting up where ever they were and the guy says dont worry about I have two babies at home too. One is 35 and the other is 23. And he says that one day you will miss this. Talking about the kids running around and acting up. He goes on to say that one day you will want that back so take a good look around and take it all in because the years go by faster than you think. And that got me thinking about my mom of course and how she has "empty nest syndrome" right now. I cant imagine how it feels to have the children that you put all your time and effort and love and passion into, just to leave that place they called home for so many years. But, I could never stop my kids from seeing the world like my mom did to me so many times. I will never tell my kids that they will fail at anything they do. They can have the world if they work hard enough for it.

So, now im talking about this whole baby thing with the misses and she says she wants a girl and im saying I want a boy. If I have a baby girl, I have soooo much payback coming to me for what I put my mother thru at 14. Oh my goodness. Just thinking about it gives me the chills. If I have a little boy I dont have to deal with emotional 14 year old girls and the DRAMA! I can have me a nice little mamas boy who grows up to be a tall handsome man whom all the girls love. OR boys love. Whatever one. Doesnt matter to me. :) And there will be plenty of man influences in the kids lives. We wont have to worry about that. I have two brothers and my lady had more than enough uncles and cousins and she has a brother. :) Hm. I think I need to get on this baby making deal soon. Do something. haha. I cant just keep talking about.

There is just one teeny tiny detail that we havent worked out yet. How we are going to HAVE the baby. Uh huh. See just a tiny detail. :(